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Today I leave Africa to return home. I know I'm going home because home is where your cat is. (This was a fact I decided when I was about 12.)

Please pre-forgive me if I get a wee bit emotional or try to be poetical in this post. I swear I can't help it. I feel as though my heart is so full it just may burst. When I look back at the month, I almost don't believe it all really happened.

For the past months, maybe the last year, I've become this great person at pretending. My mum was diagnosed with cancer and there was so much that had to be done. So I did it, and pretended I was someone who was capable. Then my mummy died. And I pretended I was going to be okay, because I think you have to do this to keep going. You don't really believe it, but you pretend you do, or else there's no reason to get up in the morning. After this I got to pretend that I was the sort of person who up and decided they will volunteer in South Africa for a month. I was here about a week before I figured out I wasn't pretending this one anymore, I really was in South Africa.

Yesterday, I got myself to the top of Table Mountain. This probably shouldn't have been one of the last things on my list as it's one of the biggest draws to Cape Town, but it was a hectic month... Anyway, I stood on top of the mountain and once more found myself staring in awe at some of the most beautiful vistas I have ever seen. (This is not an uncommon experience around here.) At some point, rather without warning, I realized I wasn't pretending anymore. I really was okay.

I don't for a second believe I will always be okay from here on in. Past experience with death has taught me grief is a lot like the ocean. Sometimes it's calm and quiet, other times it rages, and sometimes it just laps at the shore unceasingly. But there is a gift in the moments of truly being okay, because eventually they will come more often. Those moments are a candle in a storm.

My feeling of being okay didn't come as a comparison, which I think I thought it might. I didn't look at the people of the township and find that they suffered so much more so I should be grateful. (Along the lines of the idea that if everyone threw their problems into a heap on the floor, you'd be pretty quick to pick your own back up when you saw what everyone else's were.) Instead I found regular people, surviving and doing their best, just like the rest of us. People are people, no matter where they live or what their circumstance. The people of the townships are not to be pitied, though feeling compassion is a different thing entirely. They are not somehow less because of their homes and meager belongings. I think it was this awareness of humanity, the sense of being connected to it, that made me realize I was, and would be, okay.

I think I have gotten my wish, and found a sense of Ubuntu. I have affirmed my own humanity by acknowledging that of others.

I am because we are.

I do promise one last batch of photos before I stop posting and close this site. Thank you again for your support and encouragement. :)

About Townships 08/16/2010

First, I'm sorry to say that the wireless here doesn't work. So I must apologize. I really do have some great photos to share, but at the moment have no way to upload them. As soon as I can post them, they'll be up.

Today was my second day in Cape Town. I started my day by watching the local news. This was a first, because the flat the volunteers share had no cable. The number of stories regarding the informal settlements struck me. These communities are the same as the townships, constructed of whatever comes to hand, but they seem to be on a smaller scale and in little pockets all over the place.

Much like the perception of the United States, South Africa is though of as a place of riches and success. People from all over the continent pour in, hoping for a better life. Unfortunately, they are met with few opportunities (the unemployment rates here are over 25%), and wind up in townships or informal communities scratching out the most meager of existences.

The Cape Flats, the area with the largest township settlements in the Western Cape, holds more than a million people. At night, the entire area is flooded with light from high, bright street lights as a measure to reduce crime. One of the saddest things I learned was that when families become indebted to local gangs, of which there are many, they will "lend" their children for whatever use the gangs might have need of. Generally, this involves sexual abuse or using children as drug mules or labourers.

Before leaving, I wanted to provide a little more information on townships, having spent a month volunteering in one.

There are standards of living in informal settlements that can be split into serviced and unserviced areas. Serviced areas have electricity, lamp-posts, refuse collections and sanitation. Toilets are available either via a bucket system or porta-loos dropped off by the government. Shacks are even numbered – so postmen can deliver letters. Residents can get landlines in the serviced areas, although cell phones are far more popular with South Africans. The non-serviced areas do not have any of the services available in the serviced areas. Capricorn Township is a serviced area, though not all homes and families have access to the services.

Hostels are another type of accommodation found in all townships, although in place of the migrant workers they used to house, are some of the poorest families.

According to South African law, the government must remove informal settlements within 48 hours of them appearing. If they don't remove them, they are not allowed to without finding inhabitants alternative accommodation. Given the small time scales involved, it's far easier for the council to eventually come in to the settlements to implement sanitation and other services.

Perhaps most misunderstood is that townships are real communities. While they suffer from high crime rates, gangs, violence, high incidences HIV/AIDS, and the highest rape statistics in the world, most of the people are just normal people, doing their best to survive and better themselves. People in townships have families and raise children. They will smile back if you smile first, and most people will look out for one another. Also, some of the best music is to be found in the townships.

I know when our group of volunteers were about in Capricorn, a local woman warned one girl to put her camera away, fearing for her safety. When volunteers walked the children home from surfing, the children stopped at the point they felt it wasn't safe anymore and sent the volunteers back. So while the realities are indeed heartbreaking, I didn't want to paint an unfair portrait.

Anyway, as I said, as soon as I am able I will post the last of my pictures, though at the rate it may have wait until I'm home, or at least at the airport with a wireless connection.

Pictures are coming! 08/15/2010

The internet isn't working tonight at my hotel, but I have some great photos coming! (I need to upload them from my laptop...)

On Saturday I got to pet a cheetah!! (If you could see me, I'm bouncing up and down a little in my seat just from the thinking about it!) A small group of us did a wine tour, and one of the biggest places has cheetahs that are part of an organization known as Cheetah Outreach, which focuses on education and conservation.

This was very important to me because I did some research on the places that offer to let you pet lion cubs, and what I learned was very disturbing. So in an attempt to be a responsible tourist, I did my homework before embarking on my cheetah petting adventure. Having assured myself that things were above board and socially responsible, I enjoyed every moment of the experience! I even got to hear the cheetah purr. It was bliss!

Today was my first day in Cape Town and a friend I made volunteering came with me to take a tour of the city. We stopped off at a bird / monkey sanctuary (again, all researched before going) and got to hold little squirrel monkeys! They attempted to open my friends backpack, and deftly pulled out all the papers from a side pocket. So my last two days have involved animal encounters.

Tomorrow I plan on a more leisurely day, just exploring some of the Water Front area. Again, I'm sorry I don't have the promised pictures up today, but they are coming. (And, in my humble opinion, are worth the wait!)

I Hate Saying Goodbye! 08/13/2010

Today I had to say goodbye to two classes of grade ones, my teachers, and all the other children I've gotten to know over the past month. My students came up to hug me one by one and by the end I was a complete crying mess!

I have some really great photos coming of my last day, as well as seal pictures, but they will have to wait. When some of the other volunteers suggested going out for lunch it sounded like a great idea, so I never went back to the flat for my laptop. Tomorrow I most likely won't have a chance to post as it's a busy day of seeing cheetahs and lions, but I will be sure to post again on Sunday and get some photos up. :)

Now that I'm at the end of my volunteering I am so very grateful that I've had this opportunity. I am deeply and profoundly humbled and feel I've learned more from my students than they could ever have learned from me. I promise this will not be the end of my quest to make a difference in the world. It's in my blood now.

On Sunday I will leave Muizenburg for three days in Capetown before I head back home on Wednesday at 8 pm. I haven't had a lot of time to spend in Cape Town, so I'm still looking forward to this. Table Mountain has yet to have my feet upon it, and there are numerous little places I'm hoping to visit. There will probably be at least one more picture gallery to go up before I leave, so don't abandon me just yet!

On that note, thank you for following me thus far. Sharing my experience has added a richness to this trip that I couldn't have predicted. I feel like I'm paying just a little more attention to things so that I can talk about them later.

The Food Market 08/12/2010

Pictures of Seal Island aren't quite ready... I took A LOT of seal pictures! So I thought for today I'd entertain you with a few pictures from the Good Neighbours Food Market, also known locally as the European Food Market.

It takes place every Saturday and is one of the most charming places to spend your Saturday morning! Inside two very large connected rooms you will find everything wonderful to eat that you could imagine. Walking through is a delight to the senses as wonderful smells drift from every direction. Old doors serve as tables, with candles in wine bottles to set the atmosphere. Live music plays and yellow umbrellas and bottles with flowers hang from the ceiling. The whole thing just radiates urban chic and I love it! I've gone three weeks in a row, and won't be missing this week either!

Everything is fresh and delicious, and I definitely think we need one of these markets back home!

(P.S. Sorry if I make you hungry!)

This was mine! Mmmm!

Questions 08/11/2010

Today seemed to be "ask Brandy questions" day at school. Xavier, my little guy with HIV who has taken to snuggling me every chance he gets, got me to sit down so he could climb into my lap, and in no time I was surrounded. A few questions were ventured by one of the older girls, and then they started coming rapid fire. Here's a sample:

"Do you have a husband?"

"What's his name?"

"Do you drive a car?"

"What's your baby's name?"

"Why don't you have a baby?"

"Do you punch children in the face?" (No, I don't know where this one came from! What a question!)

"Can I come to Canada when you go home?"

The questions ranged from sweet to heart breaking. They were all asked with wide eyes and the children hung on the answers. Perhaps the most unsettling question was from my little Portia, who asked if I could be her new mom. When I said no, she wanted me to be her aunt. Knowing her home situation, I almost started to cry. She accepted that I had to leave without saying much after that.

I can't believe my four weeks are almost finished. I have only two more days with my students. :( I leave Africa on Wednesday. I can't believe how fast it's gone...

This afternoon I also got to go by boat out to Seal Island, and there are some amazing pictures coming, so stay tuned!

Rebuilding Shack 10 08/10/2010

On Monday, a holiday here in South Africa (it's Women's Day), the volunteers got together to rebuild the school called Shack 10, in the heart of Capricorn Township. Using money raised by several volunteers we accomplished a good amount of work in a single day.

Many hands make for light work and we cleaned out the entire area, digging out the sand that was littered with debris and glass, we created a vegetable garden, rebuilt the playground, put new roofing up, painted, and put down new concrete flooring. We turned an unusable building into a classroom, effectively doubling the amount of space available to the teachers.

There still a bit to be done, but I'm so proud of everything that was accomplished.

Robben Island 08/08/2010

Yesterday we were finally able to get to Robben Island, the home of Nelson Mandela for 19 years. It was not what I expected, though I'm not sure what I did expect. It's a barren place, with low growing shrubbery. We did a tour of the maximum security prison and then a bus tour of the island. While we were marched past Mandela's prison cell in strict "look and snap a photo fashion" I still found the experience very moving.

The cells are two meters square. It took only three small steps to get from end to end. Prisoners spent 16 hours a day in those cells.

Entrance to Robben Island from the landing dock

Maximum security prison

Double barbed wire fencing

Our prison guide, a former inmate. He spent 7 years here.

Enlarged example of the ID card all prisoners carried at all times

Gaurd tower

Lock to Mandela's cell

Mandela's cell - 2 meters square

Prison hallway

This is the lepers graveyard. Lepers were banshed here from 1844 onward.

The crashing sea. No one escaped from Robben Island.

Today was suppose to be whale watching, but it was canceled due to rain. Tomorrow I may not be able to post, as we are all helping to rebuild a school in the township. I should have pictures on Tuesday, though.

45 Minutes for an ambulance 08/06/2010

Yesterday we had a young boy slip and land on his head. There was a crack and because there was a fear of a neck injury no one wanted to move him. The school called an ambulance and then everything went on as normal. Students went to class, teachers carried on teaching, and the principal continued a tour he was conducting. (The tour carefully stepped over the injured child.)

I sat on the ground and talked to him. I held his hand and told him to squeeze as much as it hurt. It took over 45 minutes for the ambulance to arrive.

When I got back to my class I must have looked upset. The teacher pulled me aside and reminded me that seeing injuries and even death is not uncommon for most of these children. Domestic violence is unspeakably common and it's estimated that one in four girls are raped. What is uncommon and shocking to me, seeing a child laying hurt, is everyday life for these kids.

Some things I don't think I'd ever get used to...